I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
