can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
