Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
