HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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