Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
