I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
