Non-Jews are for practice
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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