whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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