THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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