I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
