He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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