it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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