Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
