I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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