Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
