He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize