don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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