k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
