what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
