id be glad to
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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