apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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