Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize