I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
