Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
