Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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