Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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