This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
