Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
