he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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