Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
