You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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