spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
