someone threw a dead crab at me
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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