I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
