hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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