I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
