Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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