white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
