Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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