I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
