i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
