i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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