Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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