remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
