I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
