you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Alive.
So much puke
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
