Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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