is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize