that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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