Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize