This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize