A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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