I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
