I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize