Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
