Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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