Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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