Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
