Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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