I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize