Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
