he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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