What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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